Holiday Card Etiquette

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve been receiving an unprecedented surge in two types of holiday cards: mass e-cards and mass-printed cards with no handwriting (not even a signature). Meanwhile, the volume of handcrafted, personalized cards and letters has dropped significantly. This is a radical shift from the past, so I thought I’d unpack this a bit:

E-cards: They can be delightful, and they’re a great environment-friendly alternative to paper. Just like any other card, they’re only meaningful if meaningful effort went into producing them. What makes a meaningful e-card? Personal expression, customization, first-person video, pictures and a link to a central place where recipients can reply (the more communal and open, the better). For those feeling guilty of not sending a paper card via snail mail, I like the concept of an e-card with an associated charitable donation. To be sure, e-cards suck if they’re simply a scan or rendering of a traditional printed card, with no personalization. E-mail spam filters tend to flag them, anyway.

Mass-Printed Cards: These are acceptable only if you personalize them in some fashion. A personalized note is preferred, though initials are a minimum. But it’s bad to send a mass-printed card with no human marks. That’s insulting. It’s o.k. if someone is a single record in your database, but most would prefer you spare the trees and carbon emissions of land delivery versus send a mass-printed card with no human touch. It would be better to send an e-card, even a spammy one, so people can simply delete it!

Handcrafted Cards: These are the best kind, and you don’t even need a card — even a napkin can have tremendous impact. Similar to e-cards and other communications, personal expression and customization create success. We need more handcrafted cards and handwritten letters.

(Photo: meganzlin)

Tagged as: Christmas, etiquette, Holiday Cards

Guest

I have a theory that could explain some of the etiquette issues that plague the holidays. While I have not personally experienced the "no signature" type of card, I have experienced a general falling away of holiday niceties, whether it is not sending out or otherwise acknowledging a card or being seemingly oblivious to the time and love that goes into home cooked foods vs. store bought. To some extent, this is understandable. For one, people are often too busy and too casual to get into the holiday spirit. As such, a percentage — not all, but some — resent being reminded of fading traditions, whether it is dressing up too much, going to a church service, going "all out" baking homemade goodies, or sending out personalized holiday cards. Many, understandably, are frustrated by the stress. Others resent the reminder or the sense that another person manages and prioritizes his or her time at this time of year better than they do. There are even those who feel guilty that persons X, Y and Z in their life are being generous in their holiday gestures, whereas they can't be bothered to go the distance even this one time of year. Driving this social trend, I suspect, are cynical comments and thoughts that anyone who seemingly goes above and beyond has "too much time on their hands". In other words, there would appear to be a counter-trend that plays into the temptation just to do away with the "traditions" of Christmas, a casual anything-goes attitude that is increasingly reflected the rest of the year, too. (A new baby not even meriting a baby announcement, for example.) Unfortunately, I see this type of thing all the time. In my parents' pre-baby boom generation, by contrast, it was not uncommon to be on each other's holiday card list for decades, even when friends had moved out of state since high school or college and dispersed while raising their families. With many Gen-Xers and boomers, on the other hand, it's okay to admit you can't afford stamps and even better if you brag that you "didn't have the time". It's a cultural shift that, if continued for another 100 years, will gradually erode the sights, sounds and thoughtful gestures of the holiday season. This certainly doesn't bode well for retailers or the economy at large, let alone personal relationships that universally benefit from a boost of TLC every now and then.
maxkalehoff

That's quite a response. I'll have to think about this one a while and get back to you.